Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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