If i come over, it means nothing
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
