Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize