But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
