Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize