If that was your dad, he is hot
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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