You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
