What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
