this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize