my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
