Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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