so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm at about main and main street
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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