A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
