So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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