Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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