You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
