he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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