i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Acid is not a monday night drug
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize