Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
