Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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