After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
