I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
