lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
