I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
