Christians are straight up FREAKS
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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