Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
