I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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