Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
