That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
