My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
