We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
