he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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