Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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