after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
No I am not eating basil off your cock
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
