just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
