i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I had to cum in my sink.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
