Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
