Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
