you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
