Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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