xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just googled if crying burns calories
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
