Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
