i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
