It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I need water and some morals
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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