So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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