So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Even my vagina gasped.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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