that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
