I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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