she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize