you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
