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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.

  (1-865): View more from Tennessee

  i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate

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• (950): View more from

  The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.

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