I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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