My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
