I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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