OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
