So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
