I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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