Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
