I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize