you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
