You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
