i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
