Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
