If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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