flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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