Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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