The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
