I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
