I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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