Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm too high and old for this...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
